Mixing up a new year.

Merry Christmas to my faithful readers! (all 12 of you!) It's been a while, so I thought I'd update you a bit on my life lately.
 After surviving hives, anaphylactic shock, and prednisone, I 'm here to see another day! Santa was very good to me, despite me not being so good this year. I awoke Christmas morning to unwrap a shiny new RED! Kitchen Aid mixer. So much delight flooded my heart. No more struggling to mix a triple batch of cookies! No more kneading my fave challah recipe for what seemed like 10 hours! No more numb hands from mixing a giant batch of meatloaf. Life is good, indeed.
 My Naps was joy stricken with his new Kindle, and sweet A Bird had gotten everything on her list. "Santa" searched long an hard for that damn Leapfrog leap pad, and finally found one! Let's not forget about Singing Tori, and the Karaoke machine!
 Headed into this new year I, of course, have the standard "I want to lose weight and get healthy" goal. Only, I think this year, it might actually happen. I start WW again next week. It will work, because I will stick to it.
 I also would like to learn to knit socks. I just love hand made socks. A Bird is starting swiming again (she's been promoted to an Eel!!) and has expressed interest in ballet lessons.
 Our efforts to conceive have not yet been fruitful. I will continue to pray, and trust that God will provied.
So that's it for now. I have lots of recipes that I plan on posting..... the anticipation is aweful isn't it?!
Happy New Year!!!!

A tough pill to swallow.

 

I know that God loves us equally.

While I know this fact, I struggle at times to believe this with all of my heart.  When is it the hardest for you? I’m reminded everyday that my God loves me. When my Ava smiles, I’m reminded that doctors told us we had a slim chance to conceive. When my husband hugs me, I’m reminded that God gave him to me. When I go to work, and come home to a roof over my head and food on our table, I’m reminded of God’s Grace. Yet, what is it that makes me struggle to believe that He loves us all equally? When I see so many women conceiving, and others that may never, I struggle. When I see so many suffering from cancer, and others abusing their bodies, and living without medical problems, I struggle. I used to think, Man! those people are lucky… But is it really luck? How can one person struggle, while the next suffers, and I’m supposed to believe that He loves us equally? I can only rationalize this by telling myself that those suffering, are suffering for a reason. It is through our suffering that God’s grace can shine through. I good friend once told me that He does give us more than we can handle, so that we learn to let him take the wheel.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Turkey for me, Turkey for you…

 

 

photo courtesy of http://www.flouronmyface.com

Today I am thankful for fresh baked bread, real salted butter, cheese, (the doctor’s that will someday perform my bypass surgery from eating to much cheese and butter) my family, my health, Ava’s sweet laugh, and  God’s endless grace. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Seeing Stars

 

Well, I think I’m going to do it. I’ve decided to make my own ornaments this year. This may prove to be quite daunting, and humiliating at the same time. I sat tonight and ran through a practice run. Here’s what came of it:

What do you think? It’s obviously a felt star, with a smaller…. let’s call it “abstract” star in the center. Okay, the smaller star needs some work. Overall not bad eh? I did hand sew with a whip stich… I may want to rethink that move. It took longer than I thought, and when the stuffing began, I saw some peeking through each stich. So, the stiches either need to be closer together, or done with a machine. We’ll see…..

Anyone have any ideas for me?? or, maybe a great website with free patterns and ideas?!

My Yummy Balls

I  love Balls. Nut Butter balls to be exact. My first memory of these crunchy, buttery cookies originated at my Grandmothers house. Growing up, she would bake cookies every year for Christmas. Her jam thumbprints and butter balls were my favorite. She would bake dozens and store them in containers on the front porch to keep them cold. I can remember whenever I was over, sneaking out to the front porch, lifting the lid of each container, pulling back the foil, and shoving and entire cookie after cookie into my mouth, hoping that she wouldn’t notice them missing! Oh man. They were so good. I didn’t even care if they were frozen. Down the hatch they went.

I have a standard recipe that I follow. It’s not my grandmother’s, but it’s close. It calls for walnuts, I usually use pecans. Rather than vanilla, this time I decided to use Almond Extract. They came out well, without an obvious change to the flavor. I also love this cookie because it doesn’t call for eggs! Which can be nice when you are out, as we are right now! (crazy chickens and their molting!)

Nut Butter Balls

adapted from The Fannie Farmer Baking Book

16 tablespoons (2 sticks or 1 cup) butter, softened (I always use salted butter)
About 2 cups confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt (which I omit when using salted butter)
3/4 cup chopped walnuts (or pecans)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine butter and 1/2 cup confectioner’s sugar. Beat until smooth and creamy. Add vanilla, beat well. Add flour and salt, mix completely. Stir in nuts. Roll dough into bite sized balls. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Don’t over bake! You want the bottoms to be slightly browned and the sides to be a pale yellow. Remove from oven and roll in remaining sugar. Set aside to cool completely. When cooled completely, roll again in remaining sugar.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Photo taken by Naps Schrader

Childhood Envy.

When I was younger, it was my sister’s job to make the cookies. Chocolate chip cookies to be exact. I was so jealous that she was the one who was always asked to perform this task. Was I not capable? Was I a lousy baker? Whatever, I was like 8. This drove me mad. I wanted so desperately to, just once, be asked to make the cookies. Yea, they weren’t anything special, just the standard from-the-back-of-the-bag cookies from Tollhouse. I guess it was just the point of it.
Well, guess what? Now, no one has to ask me to make the cookies! I can make them my damn self. And let me tell you, ever since I've found this fantabulous Nigella recipe, I’ve been making A LOT of cookies!





The best chocolate chip cookie recipe I have ever found. (and I’ve been searching for a while! lol!)

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adapted from “Nigella Kitchen” by Nigella Lawson (LOVE HER!)

1 1/4 sticks (10 tablespoons) soft unsalted butter. (I use 1 1/2 sticks REAL salted butter)
2/3 cup (packed) light brown sugar
1/2 cup superfine sugar (regular sugar works too!)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 egg, refrigerator-cold
1 egg yolk, refrigerator-cold
2 cups All-Purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 x 11.5 ounce bag milk chocolate morsels or chips

* Preheat oven to 325 degrees

* Melt the butter and let it cool a bit.Put the brown and white sugars into a bowl, pour the slightly cooled, melted butter over them, and beat together.

* Beat in the vanilla, the cold egg, and the cold egg yolk, until mixture is light and creamy.

* Slowly mix in the flour and baking soda until just blended. fold in the chocolate chips.

* Scoop the cookie dough into a quarter cup measure or a 1/4 cup ice cream scoop and drop onto coolie sheet. (this makes HUGE cookies….. when making these for home, I use a regular cookie scoop!) Keep cookies about 3 inches apart on coolie sheet. You will need to make these in 2-3 batches refrigerating the dough between batches.

*  Bake for 15-17 minutes (I bake them for about 20 minutes, Your oven may vary!) Let cool on cookie sheet before transferring to cooling rack.


  

The Sky’s the limit!

 

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Image courtesy of: deviantart.come

“Weekends are a bit like rainbows…..

 

…….they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.” ~John Shirley

Oh! So much to do this weekend! My beautiful niece Emmaline is turning 3!! So in a bit, we are off to Syracuse to attend her partay. I love seeing my sister and her family! They are such awesome people with great thoughts and talents. I’ve offered to bring some guacamole (my standard party snack) so that’s next on my immediate morning list to tackle (after a shower that is!).

Tonight, A bird has yet another Rock Band performance at my other sister A’s house. My dad and sister C are in town, so we’ll head over for a visit.

As we head in to Sunday, A Bird and I will be adventuring to the Shortsville Rod and Gun Club for a baby shower! We are so happy for Pogie!! He and his Lady Anina are expecting a baby boy in a few months. I have never known anyone more deserving of a little one then Pogie. It’s been a long time coming!!

Hopefully, by Sunday night, we can all relax and do nothing.

On another note, our efforts in making a baby last month were fruitless. This morning I had more medication dropped off at my doorstep. We’ll try again this month. I pray that another child is His will. All I can do is trust in Him.

Wordless Wednesday

 

This pumpkin’s lit.

 

Gone are the days that I can Trick or Treat. Now, I live vicariously through my A Bird. So many things remain a constant each Halloween. The pumpkins, the candy, the complaining when it’s freezing out and you make your child wear a winter coat over her costume and she cry’s “now no one can see my costume whaaaaaaa”. Ah, we’re making memories.

I look forward to carving the pumpkins each year. A small way to showcase what little artistic talent I may have left. I love to roast the pumpkin seeds, and decorate the house. I love to burn the seasonal Yankee Candles.

   

 

I hope you all hade a safe Halloween. Now it’s time to get ready for Christmas!!!

A Good day for Bakin’

 

As I welcome Fall with open arms, I begin to get itch to do some baking! The cooler weather, and our over abundance of apples (we got a little carried away when we went apple picking!) was urging me to make yet another pie. You see, I’ve already made two. While I usually make my crust from scratch, these last two pies were done with a refrigerated pie crust. It’s amazing how much faster one can crank out a pie when one does not have to mess with making the crust. Although, my crust is easy….and tastes way better than the already made stuff….

2 cups flour

2/3 cup Crisco plus 2 tablespoons COLD Crisco

1 tsp salt

4-6 tablespoons  ICE COLD water.

Anyway, I started with the already made crust, and placed it in my new Pampered Chef deep dish stoneware pie plate!! (love it.)

Then dumped in the pie filling.

8 cups apples (I used McIntosh and Macoun)

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon each, cinnamon and nutmeg

2 tbsp butter (I use salted *gasp*) real butter!

Then, piled on the awesome crumb topping (I prefer this to a crust top)

3/4 cup flour

1/4 cup each, white and brown sugar

1/3 cup (I use salted) butter….. real butter!

I bake this beauty at 350 for about and hour, or until apples are tender and happy!

A Summary.

On Tuesday, we (well, I) was inseminated. Sounds so informal. As if I'm some cow that was forced into a pasture with a determined bull. Yet, it wasn't a bull,  just my dh. It was interesting as a routine IUI turned into a scavenger hunt for my cervix. Strange, I always thought that once they cranked you open with those lovely speculum's, there was the cervix, looking right back at you, but apparently, that's not the case. Or at least isn't the case when one's uterus is tipped. So, as my doctor left the room to find another doctor to "see if they can find it", I'm laying on the table with a vagina on fire. Yay me. The new doctor enters the room, and was able to locate the rare, reclusive cervix. Alright, things are on the up and up, right? Well, no, not really. There are, unfortunately, other factors that weren't as favorable this month as I would've like them to be. It's out of our control. Each doctor tries to be positive and encouraging by reminding us that" It only takes one!". Which is all well and good, however, when I have millions inserted straight into my uterus, to no avail..... it's hard to wrap your brain around it only requiring "one" (even though I know that it's true.) So, now we wait. And that's that.

In my belly: Ben and Jerry's Half Baked
On TV: Big Bang Theory
On my mind (If I have to pick one thing) Halloween
What I'm baking this weekend: Apple Pies!

Faith and Strength...

…..trying to build them both is no easy feat.
Faith. A little background… I was born, and raised Catholic. Roman Catholic to be exact. In a small town primarily made up of Italian families. I reluctantly attended a catholic school until the 6th grade, when I begged my mother to allow me to switch to a public school. It was really a matter of life or death (or at least, to a then 12 year old it seemed to be!) Every Saturday evening my sister and I went to church with my grandparents. After getting ready, and a quick last minute “tinkle” we were out the door. Only then, to sit (stand, kneel, sing, pray, repeat) for an hour. My grandmother nudging my grandpa to awake him from his old-man-boredom slumber, and Jessica and I downing a whole role of mints or orange Tic Tac's to keep us entertained.
As I grew older, I naturally began to question certain aspects of my religion. The more I did this, the further away my hold on faith became. Though I experienced some trials and tribulations, rather than strengthening my bond with God, I feel it’s weakened it some.
So now, I’m left to figure things out. I feel as though I'm starting over. But in the way I'm supposed to start fresh. Not by being forced in to something, but by jumping in, with my own will leading the way. I began with a few trips to my mother-in-law's church. She is a Born Again Christian. At times, she's pretty hard core. I know she is just doing what her God is telling her to do, and I can't fault her for that. She's actually helping me... opening my eyes to some things. I started a Bible study with her and a few other women. I'm Enjoying it so far. They tell me that God is working on me, and I feel that they might be right. So, I pray, and listen. Hopefully He'll guide me to where ever my path is, so I can find my way again, and let go of my fears.

The Path is Long…..

 

To some, making babies comes easy.

It doesn’t for us.

We tried for a couple of years for A Bird. After some major discoveries, we started Infertility treatments. Medications, surgeries, tears, poking, prodding, a bit of money and numerous negative test results later, nothing worked. We temporarily gave up for the summer to regain some strength and find my marbles. By Labor Day, I was pregnant! Naturally!! That’s some amazing crap, eh? (especially since we were only given a 3% chance to ever get pregnant naturally.)

Four years later, our world is pretty awesome, but lacking something. Another child and a sibling for A Bird. So, here we go again! Four years with no birth control (what so ever) and still nothing.

So it begins again. Poking, prodding, drugs and hope. A lot of hope.

The injections started yesterday….

 

To my surprise, I was able to give myself the first two shots! (Matt had to them last time, I was being a sissy.) The drugs to the left are hormones. Rather than one egg, I will ovulate numerous eggs each cycle. Making the odds of pregnancy a little better, but also increasing the odds of multiples.(Yikes!)  One of the other Injectable meds will make me ovulate. It’s really a very doctor-controlled situation. Once I am ovulating, we will have a procedure done called an IUI. (Intrauterine insemination). I won’t go into detail with that one. It’s done with Matt’s “special men” being directly placed into my uterus via a catheter.

This all is pretty stressful. The many trips to Strong, the high copays, the bills after insurance covers what little they cover, the blood draws… I could go on. I suppose if I end up pregnant, it’s sooooo worth it! Only time will tell.

I was kinda thinking that not too many peeps out there really know what this is all about, so if anyone has any questions, you know me, feel free to ask.

As always, thanks for reading.

My Shopping Cart.

 

It can be said that you can learn a lot about a person from the contents of their shopping cart. I believe this to be true. Is it strange that I feel my own mother can learn  lot about me from my grocery list?

As I began my journey through our local Wegmans, I stumbled upon my mother somewhere between the Meat Dept. and the bread. I grabbed some chicken, and she walked with me the rest of the way. I grabbed a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and also a box of Cinnamon Life. Then it dawned on me. My own mother probably has no idea what my favorite kind of cereal is. This is just the tip of the ice burg. I’m not sure if she knows that much about me, nor ever has. If she doesn’t know what cereal I like, what else is she missing out on? I know, I’m going on and on about cereal, but we all know that this isn’t really just about cereal, eh?

Now I’m just saying the word “cereal” too much and it sounds odd.

Anyway, you get my drift.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Don’t Worry, Be Happy.

 

Photo courtesy of: http://www.friendship-quotes.info/

Welcome back, sweet frustration.

So there I was, just like Forest. I was running, and running. When then came along my old dear friend, frustration.
See, here’s the thing. I am part of a select few, who knows and understands, that to lose weight, one must bust their ass to get it done. Really, I have no problem with this. I enjoy being active, and on the days I don’t, I force myself through it. Usually by the end of the workout I’m exhausted, but that definitely beats the guilt and anxiety I’d feel over not ever trying. So naturally, one can understand my frustration with the fact that the damn scale won’t budge. I’m watching what I eat, keeping a close eye on calories, and choosing good foods (without depriving myself). Maybe I’m not eating enough? I suppose that’s possible.
It would just be really awesome if someone could sit  with me and tell me how many calories to eat in a day, and how many calories to burn in a day. I’m even satisfied with a loss of two pounds a week. I know that slow and steady is the way to go.
I don't know. I just want this hard work to be worth it, you know? If I saw it paying off, somehow, it would be so much easier to get on that treadmill night after night!

Wordless Wednesday

 

 

Diggin’ It Sunday: NyQuil and Nasal Spray!

 

Okay, not the most glamorous blog to date.

I've had a long week of sore throats, nosebleeds and coughing. The only thing helping me sleep at night? My new best friend, NyQuil. It truly is a gift from the Gods! (although I’d like to speak with them about making it taste a little better!) We’ve strayed from the “green death”  flavor, and bought cherry. Man! does it taste bad, but it works. My coughing stops, and I really do sleep like a baby!

I’m not sure what’s causing the nose bleeds, dryness I guess, so I’ve been hitting the nasal spray, “Jessie style” and it’s helped. I’d like to try the Neti Pot some time. I’ve heard a lot about it….. anyone out there use one?

Well, that’s it.. nothing new this week, just some old standbys that I’m sure you all know about already!

Thanks for reading!

Lauren

Wordless Wednesday

 

Diggin’ It Sunday: Luna Protein Bars & Red Envelope

In this second installment of Diggin’ It Sunday I’d like to pay homage to two of my favorites, one new, and one old!
I have fallen in love with Luna Protein bars by Clif Bar & Company. They have replaced my old haggard breakfast!  Matt and I have begun working out. I’m back to running, while Matt has started a different program. His program requires him to eat a bit of protein, while mine, does not need as much. His bar of choice his Clif’s Builder Bar. While these bars taste okay, they have 20 grams of protein!! More than I need, eh? Enter the Luna bars. Made specifically for women and our nutritional needs, they contain less calories (around 180 a bar) 12 grams of protein, and various vitamins women need, such as folic acid. I prefer the cherry chocolate almond bar, with it’s good flavor, and chewy nougat, I forget sometimes that I’m eating a protein bar! Above all this, the company is awesome, with equally awesome values and priorities. To read more about Clif Bar & Company, visit them here!

picture courtesy of http://twosistersonekitchen.wordpress.com
 Red Envelope. My old standby. We all have peeps in our lives that are impossible to shop for. Or sometimes, we’re looking for a gift that no one else has ever seen, something unique…. Meet Red Envelope. Being the proud owner of countless items purchased for me, and by me, I can attest to the fantastic quality of these products. While the prices are a little on the high end, it’s worth it. The best feature of this company? most of the products can be monogramed! There are gifts for every occasion, for him, her, and baby! Here are a few items I own:
      pics courtesy of www.redenvelope.com
Definitely check them out! Find that perfect gift here!
Do you love some awesome stuff? I’d love to hear about it!

Home Sweet Home

 

It’s not much, but someday, it will be mine. I’m sure of it.

Visit the inside here. The beauty of it all? I can plop it down (almost) where ever I’d like. It’ll be awesome.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Diggin’ It Sunday. Wick-edly Sent & Etsy

Throughout the week I encounter various “things” that I’m diggin’. Blogs, products, people, things. So, I’ve decided to declare every Sunday as “DIggin’ It Sunday” so that I may spread some love and expand your world with some new things!
This Diggin’ It Sunday, I’m loving me some Wick-edly Sent, and Etsy. Real world collides with online world in this post!
Wick-edly Sent Soap & Candle Company is Owned by Scott Mackey and Don Stevens. They opened their business in 2003 in Baltimore and moved to Canandaigua in 2005. Located today at 94 West Main Street in Downtown Canandaigua NY, the business seems to be thriving. With the allure of each product being hand made from natural ingredients such as 100% soy for the candles, and natural oils, vitamins, and minerals for their soaps, scrubs and lotions, this is an ideal product for those of us trying to live more “green”. Prices are reasonable, the owners are friendly and the products can even be tested at the sink area located in the center of the store!!! Support local businesses people, and get an awesome product at the same time!!! Please check them out here.
Etsy. Spanning the globe with buyers and sellers from over 150 countries, “Etsy is the worlds online marketplace.” Etsy believes in the small business people of the world, and the power we hold to change our economy. This amazing site, that can be experienced here,  will bring you genuine, hand made products. Anything you can think of! Jewelry, clothes, soaps, lotions, lamps, home décor. You name it, it’s there. Made for the people, by the people! Check it out!
As always, thanks for reading!
Lauren

Two Generations of Dog Riders

Growing up, my family visited Enchanted Forest Water Safari (where the fun never stops!) in Old Forge, NY, EVERY summer.  Although once there, I had a crap ton of fun, it grew old year after year. Or so I thought. Then, we all grew up, and the trips stopped. That’s when I realized how much I loved Old Forge, and it’s amazing water park. I grew so fond of the area. The air was cleaner, the people are pleasant, and don’t even get me started on Keye’s Pancake House!! I learned to swim in the Blue Spruce Motel’s pool. I wandered through an enchanted forest and met  Paul Bunyan! We rode the sky ride (occasionally losing a flip flop to the ground below) and bought candy at the candy shop. Those were good times. It took me all of these years to figure this out.
While we have been back once with friends, a few weeks ago was our first trip as a family. My family which I have given life to. As we rode patiently on the thruway, I tried to tell Ava all about the awesome things she would see! We had camped last year in Inlet, on Fourth lake, near Enchanted Forest, but didn’t visit the water park for thoughts that Ava might be too little still to enjoy it fully. This year was the year. She was ready.
We had so much fun! Not only do I enjoy the waterslides, but I have also fallen in love with the area. I feel better there. My mind is clearer, my lungs are happier, and all seems right with the world. It’s funny how years ago, Old Forge was nothing but a yearly summer vacation spot. Now, it’s a dream location for retirement. A get away to our own cottage (someday!) and a destination for new family memories to be made. My! how I’ve grown up. Still, no matter how old I get,  Enchanted Forest will always hold an awesome spot in my heart.

 Christy Jess, and me on the BIG DOG! circa 1997 ish??    Below: Ava on the BIG DOG! July 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Fresh Spinach anyone?

As our garden grows, so does my sisters.  The addition of Walter to her brood has not slowed her down from having an awesome garden, which I am thankful for! We seem to have developed a small co op between our two families. She brings spinach and romaine, we bring fresh eggs and clothing for the kids. Sometimes we add some cd’s to swap too!

Her visit this weekend brought us some fresh spinach, baby romaine, and some cd’s. I decided to make some pasta for dinner. (Even though I didn’t have any fresh bread to go with it, you know how us Italians are!) First I washed the spinach….

       

Then added a few ingredients that I had laying around the kitchen (this is turning into a sort of improvisational type of dinner!)

I cooked  some rigatoni. Sautéed the spinach in some olive oil and garlic (two cloves!) tossed them all together, adding some lemon juice, salt and pepper. Then I topped it off with some fresh feta, et voilà!!!

 

It was yummy, and somewhat farm fresh!

Thanks to Jess, and her garden!

* On a side note, Matt told me that he was glad I introduced him to Feta! Now, if I could just get him to love Goat Cheese!

Summer Reading

I've never been a big reader. I read slowly, and sometimes have trouble retaining what I've read on a day to day basis. I do enjoy reading despite these road blocks. If (and this is a BIG if!) I can find a book that can hold my interest, I do find myself trying to make time to read. Usually on my lunch break at work, or after Ava's gone to bed (I also find it easier to read in total silence).
That being said, I am currently reading "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress" by Rhoda Janzen. A memoir a an adult woman who's life recently changed dramatically (divorce, car accident, yadda, yadda) who returns to her quirky Mennonite family's home, "where she is welcomed with open arms and offbeat advice" -from the back cover of the book itself! It's really good so far. I appreciate the author's humor :)
I have a line up planned for when (and IF!!) I ever finish this book! It goes a little something like this:
Running with Scissors and Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs. Both suggested (and borrowed) from my friend Karen. Also, Swamplandia by Karen Russell. My sister (and most avid reader I've ever known) Jessica, suggested this one. So, here's to some relaxing summer reading!!! What books are on your list??
     

Sugar? Butter? Crisco? How could it NOT taste good???

I'm addicted to cookies. Well, sugar in general, really. I also love to bake, and consider myself to be pretty good at it. Enter the biggest road block ever. I'm always trying (wishing, anyway) to lose weight. But I LOVE COOKIES. Of course, Matt could go through life without any sweets (crazy, I know) For God's sake, he doesn't eat his own birthday cake! So, when I bake, I'm forced to eat it all! (Or bring some to work...)
Anyway, for Father's Day,  I made Matt some sugar cookies. He will eat sugar cookies, and peanut butter cookies.
* I might add that, while these are no "Grandma Barber Sugar cookies" they're still pretty damn good! and they really do melt in your mouth. (must be the Crisco??!!)

Melt In Your Mouth Sugar Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
2 cups sugar
1 Teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/8 teaspoon salt ( I omit, as I use salted butter)
3 egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 300  degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine butter and shortening. Mix with electric mixer on medium/ high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar, salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar. Beat until combined. Beat in egg yolks and vanilla until combined, scraping sides  of bowl occasionally. Beat in as much flour as you can. Stir in remaining flour.
Shape dough into 1 inch balls ( I use a scoop!) Bake for 15 minutes, or until sides are set. Cool on cookie sheet for 1 minute (very important, or they'll fall apart when you try to transfer them!) Transfer to wire rack, let cool.

* Recipe courtesy of  Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook, 12th edition.

Reflection Part II

It's been over a month since my surgery, and every day is awesome! It's still really weird to leave the house without what used to be my "faithful companion." Otherwise know as my fake boob. That stupid little hunk of silicone ruled my life for so long. Now, it's just a thing of the past. So, I've got that to still get used to. I did buy a new bathing suit!! While I haven't lost any weight (like I had planned) I still deserve a new suit. That, and A Bird starts her swimming lessons tomorrow, and I've got to get my chunky meatball butt in the pool with her!
Other than that, things are well. I just turned 31, but really, don't feel a day over 28! A bird turns 4 in a week. She growing up so fast! It's so awesome, and really sad all at the same time. She'll be starting school in a year. She'll have to start at a new daycare (which means saying goodbye to Krista and her friends) and she'll have to ride the bus for like, 45 minutes, and with Highschooler's! I really don't even want to think about that yet :(
It also seems that possibly, this week, spring has actually sprung! Thank goodness, I was growing quite tired of winter! Happy Spring!!!

Alright, So I'm the Loud Girl.

After 31 years on this earth, and countless people telling me, I've come to the realization that I'm the Loud Girl.
 You know, everyone has one in their family, or a friend, or girlfriend. They talk constantly, very loudly, about everything and anything. With no regard for any one's conservativeness, or how awkward some conversation topics might make people feel. Well, that's me, all the way. I'm not proud of this fact. I mean, I guess sometimes I'm okay with it. It's kind of nice to feel comfortable enough in my own skin to say what I want. Lord knows I embarrass myself often. and I know there are some people out there, that never say what they want, or what they're thinking for fear of how people might take it, or that they'll upset someone.. But, more often than not I wish I had a "filter". Oh hell, sometimes I wish I had, like, three filters. I'm always putting my foot in my mouth, and then having to apologize for whatever mess I had just created. This definitely gets old after a while.  And to always be known as the "Loud Girl" or the one that no one can never get a word in edge wise with, well, it sucks. Some days I wish I could wake up, and keep everything to myself. My thoughts, my opinions, my feelings, what I ate for dinner, and how it came out... you get my drift. But how do I just change that? How does one just stop being who they've been for the last 31 years?? So then I say to myself, well, people either have to love me or hate me. Except me, or not. But who am I fooling? we'd all like to be excepted, right? I don't know... I guess when I figure it out, I spread the word. Or, will I? Maybe I'll just keep it to myself?!

These boots were made for walking...

Walk MS 2011 !!!

So, It's that time of year again, when all of the "usual" fundraisers are in full swing! Two years ago, I raised money for March of Dimes. Last year, I volunteered to do the "banking" for The Relay For Life. This year, something new, but close to home... Walk MS. My Step-Father-In-Law was diagnosed with MS a few years back, and so far, has been controlling it well. But, we all now the day will come where it may start to control him. So, I am walking for MS. For research, and a cure. I am feeling pretty good about this one.. it's in May (May is a beautiful month!) I'm starting to feel a little healthier! It's fresh air, and exercise, all for a good cause!
If anyone would like to donate (any amount is , of course, appreciated!) or if you just want to come out and walk with me, please let me know!!! Or click  http://walknyr.nationalmssociety.org/site/PageServer?pagename=WLK_NYR_homepage  to reach my pledge page! Click on donate/Epledge, find my location (Canandaigua, NY) type in Lauren Schrader, click find... and BAM!! that should lead you to my page :)
 I thank you all in advance for your help, or even, just your kind thoughts! You're all beautiful, and together, we can make miracles!! (I really do believe this :)

Dear Matt.

"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."
— Paulo Coelho*

Thank you so much for being there when I need you.
For accepting all of my faults, and flaws.
For loving me unconditionally.
For giving me Ava.
You are an amazing person, father, husband and human being. (Believe it, it's  true!)
You have overcome so much in your life to become who you are today. Stand proud.
I thank God everyday for giving you to me, some days, I feel undeserving of such a gift.
I hope to never take you for granted.
I cherish every moment with you.
I love you a crap ton!



*quote borrowed from Laura Hibbard Taylor via Facebook

"Better recognize your brothers..."

I

I was reminded today of an awesome artist, person, lyricist, and song.

Here is a brief description of my beliefs. I was raised Catholic. As I've aged, I've questioned the Bible, and Catholicism. Which, by the way, I  feel is totally normal, and should happen to everyone at some point. I believe that Jesus died for our sins. An overwhelming thought, when you really ponder the idea. He actually gave his life, for all of our sins. I couldn't do that.
Anyway, I struggle with my faith. Not in the sense that I don't believe in God, or the power of prayer. I guess it's more of a Bible thing. An "all or nothing" thing. My Bible tells me that being gay is a sin. That abortion is a sin. I am not against gay or lesbian couples or marriages. I feel that Love is Love, and everyone deserves to find it. The God I believe in would not want someone to suffer in the skin, body, or soul they're in, even if He gave it to them. We accept it, and love it, or hate it, change it, and learn and grow from it.
I try to live each day, the way I am supposed to live. We all know right from wrong. I try to treat others the way I would like to be treated, or better yet, the way they deserve to be treated as a fellow human being. (Yes, I fail miserably sometimes, and can be mean. *gasp*)  I try to accept people for who they are. I try to respect them for who they are, and for they're opinions and beliefs weather the same as mine or not.

This world is changing and will end with us, or without us. Maybe we could open our minds a little, respect each other and the gifts around us, and enjoy the ride a little more. Anyway, I saw a connection between this awesome song and my thoughts. Not sure if you'll see it too. Either way, listen a little, he had a lot of good stuff to say.

Reflection Part One!!! Viewer Discretion Advised.

Well, where to start!! I guess I'll go with the obvious life changing events I have recently undergone :)
This blog will be the most honest and private to date, so, if you're not into "TMI" stop reading NOW!
For about 15 years now (or well, since puberty) my "ladies" have grown at a very uneven pace. The left had decided to be huge, while the right side was content chilling as a little gal. Although I'm by far not vain in any way, and have never really cared so much about my breast size, this created issues, to say the least. Not so much at first, but as I grew, gained weight, and became pregnant, the left continued to be large and in charge, while the right side stayed put. (to put it into perspective, the left side was a DD and the right side was a B cup)  This CONTROLLED my life. I had to stuff the right side (yes, I said STUFF!!) with two silicone "cutlets" just to give the appearance of them being even. If I left the house without the "cutlets, I would panic and have to turn back to get them. No tank tops, tight or low cut shirts, or bathing suits (without a sport bra underneath) Not to mention feeling like Quasimodo in lingerie, or well, in anything for that matter. I handled it well, I thought. Made a joke out of it, told everyone, laughed about it, even though it really sucked deep down. Luckily for me, I've taught myself to maintain confidence, no matter the weather.
It took ten years to muster up the balls to do it, and two attempts at persuading my insurance company to cover the surgery.........and a HUGE thank you to Dr. D'Amore (how appropriate right? Dr Love!!!) to achieve what I've always wanted. EVEN breasts. I can't begin to describe how incredible they look!! Well, aside from the stitches, and bruising lol!! It's quite an emotional thing when something that has basically defined me for so many years, is now nothing but a memory. I've had emotional highs and lows, and pain to go along with it. It might take some time to get used to the new me, but I know once it happens, life will be good.
(p.s. would love to post some pics, but they might be too graphic for my follower's virgin eyes! lol!)

A Time For New

New ideas. New life. New Projects. New Chapters. February in a nutt shell.
As I start today with a new nephew, Walter Charles, I think of how awesome life is. How even though, I may not have everything I want, I still have so much! ( I know, that sounds super cheesey. And no, I don't always feel this way, but I'm trying) I have n awesome family with a husband and daughter that mean the world to me. Yes, it still feels as if it may be one person short. But hell, It could be just Matt and I, or, even just me. I am blessed to have them both, and try every day to accept that this may just be the way it's supposed to be.
I do have control over certain things. Though lately, it hasn't felt like it. I do totally have control over my weight, and for the most part, my health. I am determined to lose weight and be a healthier person. ( and now thanks to Matt, I have a new IPod to rock out too while I run my ass off!!!!) And I know it will be hard and trying.
I'm itching for spring!! and all of the projects that come with it. Oh man, there are many!
Anyway, I suppose I'm just having one of those life pondering days.... I better stop myself before I get to deep, eh??

In my belly:  Water!
On my mind:  Babies
What I'm lovin' right now: the warmer weather headed our way!
What I'm looking forward to: this weekend!!

If Wishes Were Horses....

If wishes were horses

Beggars would ride:

If turnips were watches

I would wear one by my side.^[1]

And if ifs and ans were pots and pans,

The tinker would never work!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_wishes_were_horses,_beggars_would_ride

I wish....

To see Crosby, Stills, and Nash in concert.
That insurance will pay for my surgery.
To see Vampire Weekend in concert.
For my sister to have an easy labor, and healthy baby.
For a snow day tomorrow!
An awesome tax return.
To lose 30 lbs.
For Linus to learn to pee outside.

It's all about me.

 I've made a conscious decision to get my ass back in shape. I'm trying to make smarter food choices, and jumping head first into running. This is not the body I used to have, nor the body I should have.
 However, I'm struggling daily with the time it's taking away from my family. My husband to be more specific. I have been spending each night on the treadmill, from the time Ava goes to bed, until just about the time that we go to bed. This use to be our together time. (even if it did only consist of us, on two separate couches, watching television together.) I feel guilty for taking this time, and making it all mine, when I should be sharing it. I know that he doesn't mind. If anything, he's very supportive.
 Part of reclaiming your life, especially the your-body-part-of-life, is putting yourself first, and putting exercise first. It's a difficult thing to manage. You know, that "balance" and all.

What I love today: The sun is out!!!
On the radio: Madonna
In my belly: stuffed cabbage and mashed potatoes :)

It's a funk, I guess.

I don't know. The days are dragging. I'm bored. Everyone around me seems miserable. That's winter for ya, I guess. I'm running my toosh off on the treadmill every night, to no avail. The scale doesn't move.
It's frustrating.
A Birds probably feeling cooped up and bored. Naps has a lot on his mind, that I can't seem to help with. It's a down-in-the-dumps type of day.
Tomorrow will be better.

What I'm looking forward to: Jess' bambino.
In my cd player: John Mayer.
When I'll be done working today: NOT SOON ENOUGH!!! (really though, in 30 minutes!)

Random Thoughts...

The best inspiration is not to outdo others, but to outdo ourselves. - Anonymous

I'm trying to remind myself of this daily. I'm often quite competitive, although I don't like to be.

In my cup: French Vanilla Coffee with cream and sugar.
On my mind: Naps' doctor's appointment tomorrow.
What I am looking forward to: our anniversary (German Restaurant!!)
On the radio: Hootie and the Blowfish (not my choice!)

I'm the REAL dog whisperer :)

 Upon my travels home last night from work, I stumbled upon two sweet, buggy-eyed shih tzu's running free in the road. As no one else was stopping, I did (it's how I roll) As I got out to check their collars (only to find they didn't have any) they both jumped into my car. So there I was, 6:00 at night, sun disappearing, with these two cute, but skanky dogs, in my car, getting my seats wet. I checked a few of the houses around, no one knew who they belonged to. I couldn't leave them there. They could get hit, or freeze. So, I told them that everything would be fine, and called the Humane Society of Ontario County (http://raims.com/animals/).
Two nice gentlemen met me in Seneca Castle, and took the dogs with them.
 I was sad to see them go. Of course, wondering if I did the right thing. I'm pretty sure that I did.
 This morning, I came to work still thinking about those sweet little ladies. I know of a member that breeds shih tzu's, who also lives in the area. I gave her a call, and told her my story. Long story short, they are hers! She was so relieved (naturally!). I feel good. My job here is done.

* A note to dog owners: please be responsible, and make sure your pets have collar's!!!

No! Really, it WILL work.

Today's goal: Keep my opinions and judgements to myself.
As opinionated as I am, sometimes it's way more interesting to just sit back, and listen to everyone else. So, that's my plan for today, although, it might kill me! lol! (If you know me, you will understand :)

An update: I have begun running again. I used to enjoy it so much! It was my escape. In high school  I ran for sports practices, and then again every night, after dinner. When I was running, I was free! Free from family, homework, arguing, and stress. I want that feeling back! I'd like to be able to run in a 5k someday!(another goal) You know what else would be totally rad? If I could lose a crap ton of weight while I'm at it! Oh!! how I would love to see my collarbone again too :)

In my belly: Raisin and Walnut Oatmeal
On the radio: "Celebrate Good Times, C'Mon!" (Man, I hate work radio!)
What I'm looking forward to: Disney On Ice with A Bird and Naps!

It Begins.

I've officially started exercising again. It needs to happen, It's as simple as that. Last night, I walked for 1.5 miles (1/4 of which I jogged!!) Afterwards, I felt pretty good. (and hungry) Today I've got a physical with my new doctor, I'll discuss weight loss with him....

On another note, I can see a small light at the end of our hot-water-heater-woes tunnel. The new one is in, and my brother-in-law will be over this afternoon to bust up our floor, and locate the leaking hot water pipe. It should be loads of fun! We're very grateful to have such an awesome brother/brother-in-law!

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.Confucius

A Few Waking Thoughts.....

I'm hungry.
The house needs to be cleaned.
I'd like to start running again.

The first two are definitely the easy ones to tackle. The third? I'm not so sure about :)

Apparently, It Doesn't Take Much.

OMG. My small defeat yesterday, amounted to an even bigger defeat on the scale this morning. I gained an entire pound. How does that happen? I mean, yea, I ate a bunch last night, and drank two beers, but damn. I am totally feeling like I'm fighting a  losing battle. I'm under the assumption that, in order to lose the weight I would like, I can't eat the things I want. This morning is the proof. I already feel like I need to mourn all of the sweet treats I love. The beer, the cheese, and oh! all of that fantastic bread and butter. It's madness. For the last two weeks, the thoughts of points, and food, and "NO! you can't eat that!" have completely consumed my mind, and made me a crazy person. What is there to show for it? I've lost 3 lbs. That's it. At this rate, I will be working at this for the rest of my life. That's an intimidating thought, for sure. I've got to go walk on the treadmill.

My white flag is waving.

Yup, I surrender.
The hot water heater still isn't fixed, and I feel dirty. It's weird. I used to not mind being dirty. You know, I was one with nature and all that hippie crap. I guess I'm a different person than I was then.
 I was a smaller person back then. Which brings me to my next latest defeat. Weight loss. How is it, that one can work so hard, day after day, to eat right (and follow ones points allotment) and the scale (my arch nemesis) can not budge. Not even a little. It's beyond frustrating. So, I let myself become defeated today. Only today. Tomorrow's a new day.

~I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Today's Final Thought (Springer Style)

Although I have many, this thought is the loudest.
Dear White Hairs,
 I sat silent as a few of you took residence on my beautiful mane of luxurious hair. However, I've noticed more of you moving in. This is unacceptable. Please take note. I am only thirty. We can discuss this topic again when I turn 40. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Norman.

What's in a name?

 For years now, I've had a nickname. I forget about it often, as the source of the name and myself have lost touch, but, it's still my name. When I think about it, nothing but mostly good memories come back to me. My real name, Lauren Mary, somehow evolved into Norman Larry over the course of my childhood. Given to me by my dad. I can't really explain it. So, that's that.
 As for this blog, it will most likely be fairly random. You know, my thoughts, recipes, stuff I like at the moment, and my opinions.
 Life's a garden. Dig it.