This pumpkin’s lit.

 

Gone are the days that I can Trick or Treat. Now, I live vicariously through my A Bird. So many things remain a constant each Halloween. The pumpkins, the candy, the complaining when it’s freezing out and you make your child wear a winter coat over her costume and she cry’s “now no one can see my costume whaaaaaaa”. Ah, we’re making memories.

I look forward to carving the pumpkins each year. A small way to showcase what little artistic talent I may have left. I love to roast the pumpkin seeds, and decorate the house. I love to burn the seasonal Yankee Candles.

   

 

I hope you all hade a safe Halloween. Now it’s time to get ready for Christmas!!!

A Good day for Bakin’

 

As I welcome Fall with open arms, I begin to get itch to do some baking! The cooler weather, and our over abundance of apples (we got a little carried away when we went apple picking!) was urging me to make yet another pie. You see, I’ve already made two. While I usually make my crust from scratch, these last two pies were done with a refrigerated pie crust. It’s amazing how much faster one can crank out a pie when one does not have to mess with making the crust. Although, my crust is easy….and tastes way better than the already made stuff….

2 cups flour

2/3 cup Crisco plus 2 tablespoons COLD Crisco

1 tsp salt

4-6 tablespoons  ICE COLD water.

Anyway, I started with the already made crust, and placed it in my new Pampered Chef deep dish stoneware pie plate!! (love it.)

Then dumped in the pie filling.

8 cups apples (I used McIntosh and Macoun)

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon each, cinnamon and nutmeg

2 tbsp butter (I use salted *gasp*) real butter!

Then, piled on the awesome crumb topping (I prefer this to a crust top)

3/4 cup flour

1/4 cup each, white and brown sugar

1/3 cup (I use salted) butter….. real butter!

I bake this beauty at 350 for about and hour, or until apples are tender and happy!

A Summary.

On Tuesday, we (well, I) was inseminated. Sounds so informal. As if I'm some cow that was forced into a pasture with a determined bull. Yet, it wasn't a bull,  just my dh. It was interesting as a routine IUI turned into a scavenger hunt for my cervix. Strange, I always thought that once they cranked you open with those lovely speculum's, there was the cervix, looking right back at you, but apparently, that's not the case. Or at least isn't the case when one's uterus is tipped. So, as my doctor left the room to find another doctor to "see if they can find it", I'm laying on the table with a vagina on fire. Yay me. The new doctor enters the room, and was able to locate the rare, reclusive cervix. Alright, things are on the up and up, right? Well, no, not really. There are, unfortunately, other factors that weren't as favorable this month as I would've like them to be. It's out of our control. Each doctor tries to be positive and encouraging by reminding us that" It only takes one!". Which is all well and good, however, when I have millions inserted straight into my uterus, to no avail..... it's hard to wrap your brain around it only requiring "one" (even though I know that it's true.) So, now we wait. And that's that.

In my belly: Ben and Jerry's Half Baked
On TV: Big Bang Theory
On my mind (If I have to pick one thing) Halloween
What I'm baking this weekend: Apple Pies!

Faith and Strength...

…..trying to build them both is no easy feat.
Faith. A little background… I was born, and raised Catholic. Roman Catholic to be exact. In a small town primarily made up of Italian families. I reluctantly attended a catholic school until the 6th grade, when I begged my mother to allow me to switch to a public school. It was really a matter of life or death (or at least, to a then 12 year old it seemed to be!) Every Saturday evening my sister and I went to church with my grandparents. After getting ready, and a quick last minute “tinkle” we were out the door. Only then, to sit (stand, kneel, sing, pray, repeat) for an hour. My grandmother nudging my grandpa to awake him from his old-man-boredom slumber, and Jessica and I downing a whole role of mints or orange Tic Tac's to keep us entertained.
As I grew older, I naturally began to question certain aspects of my religion. The more I did this, the further away my hold on faith became. Though I experienced some trials and tribulations, rather than strengthening my bond with God, I feel it’s weakened it some.
So now, I’m left to figure things out. I feel as though I'm starting over. But in the way I'm supposed to start fresh. Not by being forced in to something, but by jumping in, with my own will leading the way. I began with a few trips to my mother-in-law's church. She is a Born Again Christian. At times, she's pretty hard core. I know she is just doing what her God is telling her to do, and I can't fault her for that. She's actually helping me... opening my eyes to some things. I started a Bible study with her and a few other women. I'm Enjoying it so far. They tell me that God is working on me, and I feel that they might be right. So, I pray, and listen. Hopefully He'll guide me to where ever my path is, so I can find my way again, and let go of my fears.

The Path is Long…..

 

To some, making babies comes easy.

It doesn’t for us.

We tried for a couple of years for A Bird. After some major discoveries, we started Infertility treatments. Medications, surgeries, tears, poking, prodding, a bit of money and numerous negative test results later, nothing worked. We temporarily gave up for the summer to regain some strength and find my marbles. By Labor Day, I was pregnant! Naturally!! That’s some amazing crap, eh? (especially since we were only given a 3% chance to ever get pregnant naturally.)

Four years later, our world is pretty awesome, but lacking something. Another child and a sibling for A Bird. So, here we go again! Four years with no birth control (what so ever) and still nothing.

So it begins again. Poking, prodding, drugs and hope. A lot of hope.

The injections started yesterday….

 

To my surprise, I was able to give myself the first two shots! (Matt had to them last time, I was being a sissy.) The drugs to the left are hormones. Rather than one egg, I will ovulate numerous eggs each cycle. Making the odds of pregnancy a little better, but also increasing the odds of multiples.(Yikes!)  One of the other Injectable meds will make me ovulate. It’s really a very doctor-controlled situation. Once I am ovulating, we will have a procedure done called an IUI. (Intrauterine insemination). I won’t go into detail with that one. It’s done with Matt’s “special men” being directly placed into my uterus via a catheter.

This all is pretty stressful. The many trips to Strong, the high copays, the bills after insurance covers what little they cover, the blood draws… I could go on. I suppose if I end up pregnant, it’s sooooo worth it! Only time will tell.

I was kinda thinking that not too many peeps out there really know what this is all about, so if anyone has any questions, you know me, feel free to ask.

As always, thanks for reading.