It's all about me.

 I've made a conscious decision to get my ass back in shape. I'm trying to make smarter food choices, and jumping head first into running. This is not the body I used to have, nor the body I should have.
 However, I'm struggling daily with the time it's taking away from my family. My husband to be more specific. I have been spending each night on the treadmill, from the time Ava goes to bed, until just about the time that we go to bed. This use to be our together time. (even if it did only consist of us, on two separate couches, watching television together.) I feel guilty for taking this time, and making it all mine, when I should be sharing it. I know that he doesn't mind. If anything, he's very supportive.
 Part of reclaiming your life, especially the your-body-part-of-life, is putting yourself first, and putting exercise first. It's a difficult thing to manage. You know, that "balance" and all.

What I love today: The sun is out!!!
On the radio: Madonna
In my belly: stuffed cabbage and mashed potatoes :)

It's a funk, I guess.

I don't know. The days are dragging. I'm bored. Everyone around me seems miserable. That's winter for ya, I guess. I'm running my toosh off on the treadmill every night, to no avail. The scale doesn't move.
It's frustrating.
A Birds probably feeling cooped up and bored. Naps has a lot on his mind, that I can't seem to help with. It's a down-in-the-dumps type of day.
Tomorrow will be better.

What I'm looking forward to: Jess' bambino.
In my cd player: John Mayer.
When I'll be done working today: NOT SOON ENOUGH!!! (really though, in 30 minutes!)

Random Thoughts...

The best inspiration is not to outdo others, but to outdo ourselves. - Anonymous

I'm trying to remind myself of this daily. I'm often quite competitive, although I don't like to be.

In my cup: French Vanilla Coffee with cream and sugar.
On my mind: Naps' doctor's appointment tomorrow.
What I am looking forward to: our anniversary (German Restaurant!!)
On the radio: Hootie and the Blowfish (not my choice!)

I'm the REAL dog whisperer :)

 Upon my travels home last night from work, I stumbled upon two sweet, buggy-eyed shih tzu's running free in the road. As no one else was stopping, I did (it's how I roll) As I got out to check their collars (only to find they didn't have any) they both jumped into my car. So there I was, 6:00 at night, sun disappearing, with these two cute, but skanky dogs, in my car, getting my seats wet. I checked a few of the houses around, no one knew who they belonged to. I couldn't leave them there. They could get hit, or freeze. So, I told them that everything would be fine, and called the Humane Society of Ontario County (http://raims.com/animals/).
Two nice gentlemen met me in Seneca Castle, and took the dogs with them.
 I was sad to see them go. Of course, wondering if I did the right thing. I'm pretty sure that I did.
 This morning, I came to work still thinking about those sweet little ladies. I know of a member that breeds shih tzu's, who also lives in the area. I gave her a call, and told her my story. Long story short, they are hers! She was so relieved (naturally!). I feel good. My job here is done.

* A note to dog owners: please be responsible, and make sure your pets have collar's!!!

No! Really, it WILL work.

Today's goal: Keep my opinions and judgements to myself.
As opinionated as I am, sometimes it's way more interesting to just sit back, and listen to everyone else. So, that's my plan for today, although, it might kill me! lol! (If you know me, you will understand :)

An update: I have begun running again. I used to enjoy it so much! It was my escape. In high school  I ran for sports practices, and then again every night, after dinner. When I was running, I was free! Free from family, homework, arguing, and stress. I want that feeling back! I'd like to be able to run in a 5k someday!(another goal) You know what else would be totally rad? If I could lose a crap ton of weight while I'm at it! Oh!! how I would love to see my collarbone again too :)

In my belly: Raisin and Walnut Oatmeal
On the radio: "Celebrate Good Times, C'Mon!" (Man, I hate work radio!)
What I'm looking forward to: Disney On Ice with A Bird and Naps!

It Begins.

I've officially started exercising again. It needs to happen, It's as simple as that. Last night, I walked for 1.5 miles (1/4 of which I jogged!!) Afterwards, I felt pretty good. (and hungry) Today I've got a physical with my new doctor, I'll discuss weight loss with him....

On another note, I can see a small light at the end of our hot-water-heater-woes tunnel. The new one is in, and my brother-in-law will be over this afternoon to bust up our floor, and locate the leaking hot water pipe. It should be loads of fun! We're very grateful to have such an awesome brother/brother-in-law!

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.Confucius

A Few Waking Thoughts.....

I'm hungry.
The house needs to be cleaned.
I'd like to start running again.

The first two are definitely the easy ones to tackle. The third? I'm not so sure about :)

Apparently, It Doesn't Take Much.

OMG. My small defeat yesterday, amounted to an even bigger defeat on the scale this morning. I gained an entire pound. How does that happen? I mean, yea, I ate a bunch last night, and drank two beers, but damn. I am totally feeling like I'm fighting a  losing battle. I'm under the assumption that, in order to lose the weight I would like, I can't eat the things I want. This morning is the proof. I already feel like I need to mourn all of the sweet treats I love. The beer, the cheese, and oh! all of that fantastic bread and butter. It's madness. For the last two weeks, the thoughts of points, and food, and "NO! you can't eat that!" have completely consumed my mind, and made me a crazy person. What is there to show for it? I've lost 3 lbs. That's it. At this rate, I will be working at this for the rest of my life. That's an intimidating thought, for sure. I've got to go walk on the treadmill.

My white flag is waving.

Yup, I surrender.
The hot water heater still isn't fixed, and I feel dirty. It's weird. I used to not mind being dirty. You know, I was one with nature and all that hippie crap. I guess I'm a different person than I was then.
 I was a smaller person back then. Which brings me to my next latest defeat. Weight loss. How is it, that one can work so hard, day after day, to eat right (and follow ones points allotment) and the scale (my arch nemesis) can not budge. Not even a little. It's beyond frustrating. So, I let myself become defeated today. Only today. Tomorrow's a new day.

~I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Today's Final Thought (Springer Style)

Although I have many, this thought is the loudest.
Dear White Hairs,
 I sat silent as a few of you took residence on my beautiful mane of luxurious hair. However, I've noticed more of you moving in. This is unacceptable. Please take note. I am only thirty. We can discuss this topic again when I turn 40. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Norman.

What's in a name?

 For years now, I've had a nickname. I forget about it often, as the source of the name and myself have lost touch, but, it's still my name. When I think about it, nothing but mostly good memories come back to me. My real name, Lauren Mary, somehow evolved into Norman Larry over the course of my childhood. Given to me by my dad. I can't really explain it. So, that's that.
 As for this blog, it will most likely be fairly random. You know, my thoughts, recipes, stuff I like at the moment, and my opinions.
 Life's a garden. Dig it.